I Was Forced To Share A Room With The Campus Bad Boy…
The first thing I heard about Killian was that he was trouble.
Not normal college trouble, either.
Not the kind where someone skips class or gets caught sneaking beer into a dorm.
Killian had already been kicked out of two different dorms before the middle of the semester.
Nobody seemed to know the full story.
Some people said he got into fights.
Others said he threw parties that got completely out of control.
One guy claimed Killian had nearly gotten arrested after climbing onto the roof of a residence hall at 3:00 in the morning.
The details changed depending on who was telling the story.
The only thing everyone agreed on was simple.
Nobody wanted to be his roommate.
Which was exactly why the housing office stuck him with me.
My name is Elio.
And I was probably the last person on campus who should have been paired with someone like Killian.
I was the guy who color-coded his class notes.
The guy who showed up 10 minutes early to lectures.
The guy with a 4.0 GPA, a scholarship, and a schedule planned 3 weeks in advance.
My room was quiet, organized, predictable.
Then Killian arrived.
I was sitting at my desk working through chemistry notes when the door burst open hard enough to hit the wall.
A tall guy stepped inside carrying two duffel bags.
Dark hair, sharp jawline, leather jacket despite the warm weather.
Behind him stood a resident assistant who looked exhausted.
“Good luck,” the RA said.
Then he immediately left.
That should have been my warning.
Killian dropped his bags onto the floor and looked around the room.
His eyes landed on the calendar hanging above my desk.
Then on the stack of textbooks.
Then on the neatly made bed.
Finally, he looked at me.
“Wow,” he said.
“What?”
“I think this room just lowered my heart rate.”
I frowned.
“What does that mean?”
“It means,” he said, pointing at my desk.
“I’ve never seen someone own that many highlighters.”
I already didn’t like him.
And judging by the smirk on his face, the feeling seemed mutual.
That first evening only confirmed it.
He played music while unpacking.
I asked him to turn it down.
He turned it up.
I asked again.
He rolled his eyes.
Then his phone rang.
A girl’s name flashed across the screen.
He answered with a grin.
“Hey, gorgeous.”
For the next hour, I listened to him flirt while I tried to study.
By midnight, I was ready to lose my mind.
And by the time he finally hung up, I had reached one very clear conclusion.
Living with Killian was going to be a disaster.
What I didn’t know was that this was only the beginning.
Because the person who would change everything wasn’t just Killian.
It was his best friend.
A guy named Marvin.
And the moment Marvin walked into our room a few days later, nothing would stay simple anymore.
Marvin showed up on a Thursday afternoon.
I remember because I was trying to finish a lab report that was due at midnight.
The room was finally quiet for once.
Killian was gone.
No music.
No phone calls.
No random people wandering through our room.
Just peace.
Then the door opened without warning.
A guy stepped inside carrying a pizza box.
He looked around casually.
You’re Elio?
It wasn’t a question.
I looked up.
Yeah.
He nodded.
Cool.
Then he sat down on Killian’s bed like he lived there.
I stared.
He stared back.
Neither of us spoke.
Finally, I said, “Can I help you?”
The guy grinned.
“You look exactly like he described.”
That immediately worried me.
“What did he describe?”
“His grumpy roommate.”
I sighed.
Of course.
The guy laughed.
“I’m Marvin.”
I recognized the name instantly.
Killian talked about him constantly.
Best friend.
Childhood friend.
Partner in crime.
Usually, whenever Marvin’s name came up, trouble followed.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
“It isn’t.”
“What?”
“It isn’t nice to meet you.”
I blinked.
Marvin opened the pizza box.
“I’m kidding.”
Then he stole a slice and started eating.
I wasn’t sure if I liked him either.
A few minutes later, Killian arrived.
The second he walked through the door, his entire expression changed.
His eyes lit up.
Kill.
Marvin stood up.
The two of them immediately started shoving each other like oversized children.
You’re late.
You’re ugly.
Nice jacket.
Nice personality disorder.
Their insults flew back and forth so quickly I couldn’t keep up.
Then they both started laughing.
I watched from my desk.
They were complete idiots.
But there was something weirdly effortless about their friendship.
The kind of friendship people spend years trying to find.
Eventually Killian threw himself onto his bed.
Marvin stretched out in my chair.
Which happened to be the chair I was sitting in two seconds earlier.
Move, I said.
No.
It’s my chair.
Possession is 9/10 of the law.
That’s not how that works.
Marvin grinned.
Killian laughed.
And somehow I ended up standing while both of them made themselves comfortable.
That became a pattern.
For the next several weeks, every time Marvin visited, the room transformed into chaos.
They played story games, ordered food, argued about everything, stayed up too late, talked too loudly, and somehow dragged people into their nonsense wherever they went.
I hated it.
At least I told myself I did.
The truth was more complicated.
Because after a while, I started noticing things.
Like how Killian always acted different around everyone else.
With most people, he was loud, confident, always performing.
But around Marvin, he relaxed.
The act disappeared.
Sometimes I’d look up from my textbook and catch them talking quietly.
Just normal conversations.
No jokes.
No pretending.
Those moments felt strangely real.
And I found myself paying attention.
Which was dangerous.
Because I was already noticing too much about Killian.
The way he pushed his hair back when he was frustrated.
The way he smiled when he forgot to be sarcastic.
The way his eyes softened when he talked about his younger sister back home.
I didn’t want to notice any of that.
Especially because Killian was constantly surrounded by girls.
Every week seemed to bring someone new.
Sometimes he’d bring dates back to the room.
Sometimes he’d spend entire evenings talking to girls on FaceTime.
It became one more thing for us to fight about.
One night I’d finally had enough.
I was studying for an exam when Killian walked in with a blonde girl I’d never seen before.
They were laughing.
She immediately sat on his bed.
I looked at the clock.
10:47 p.m. You’ve got to be kidding me.
Killian sighed.
Not this again.
I have an exam tomorrow.
You always have an exam tomorrow.
Because I’m actually in college to learn things.
The girl looked uncomfortable.
Marvin, who had been sitting on Killian’s bed, immediately stood up.
Oh, good, he said.
They’re fighting.
Stay out of it, I snapped.
No chance.
Killian crossed his arms.
You don’t own the room, Elio.
And you don’t live alone.
The girl’s eyes moved back and forth between us like she was watching a tennis match.
Marvin grabbed a bag of chips.
Apparently, he considered this entertainment.
“You know what?”
I said.
“Maybe if you spent half as much time studying as you do chasing girls, you wouldn’t have gotten kicked out of two dorms.”
The second the words left my mouth, I regretted them.
The room went silent.
Killian’s expression changed instantly.
Not angry.
Worse.
Hurt.
For the first time since I’d met him, he looked genuinely affected.
Marvin stopped smiling.
Even the girl looked uncomfortable.
I realized I’d hit something deeper than I intended.
Killian stared at me for several seconds.
Then he quietly grabbed his jacket.
“Come on,” he told the girl.
They left without another word.
The door closed behind them.
Marvin looked at me.
“What?”
He shook his head.
“That was low.”
Then he followed Killian out.
And for the first time since becoming roommates, I felt like I might have crossed the line.
The room felt different after that.
Quieter.
Colder.
For two full days, Killian barely spoke to me.
Honestly, I didn’t blame him.
The comment had slipped out during an argument, but that didn’t change the fact that I’d used something personal against him.
I told myself I didn’t care.
That we weren’t friends.
That we were just roommates forced into the same space.
But every time he walked into the room and ignored me completely, something felt off.
On Saturday evening, I finally got my answer.
Marvin showed up.
The second he entered, he looked between us.
Then he sighed dramatically.
You two are still doing this?
Neither of us answered.
Marvin dropped onto Killian’s bed.
Fantastic.
Still silence.
This is painful.
More silence.
Marvin looked at me.
Apologize.
I nearly laughed.
No.
He looked at Killian.
Accept his apology.
I’m not apologizing.
See?
Marvin pointed at me.
He’s apologizing already.
I rolled my eyes.
Killian actually smirked.
Just slightly.
But it was the first sign of life I’d seen from him in days.
Marvin immediately noticed.
There it is.
What?
You almost smiled.
Shut up.
Marvin looked delighted with himself.
For the next hour, he refused to leave us alone.
Every conversation somehow turned into him forcing us to interact.
And somehow, it worked.
Not completely, but enough.
Later that night, after Marvin left, I was sitting at my desk when Killian suddenly spoke.
Without looking at me.
You don’t know why I got kicked out.
I turned around.
He was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling.
What?
The dorms.
His voice was quiet.
You don’t know what happened.
I waited.
For a moment, I thought he’d stop talking.
Then he continued.
The first one wasn’t my fault.
I didn’t interrupt.
My roommate got caught selling fake IDs.
That wasn’t what I expected.
He blamed me.
What happened?
They believed him.
I frowned.
Seriously?
Kilian laughed bitterly.
Seriously.
He stared at the ceiling.
The second one was kind of my fault.
I waited again.
Guy kept picking on some freshman.
His jaw tightened.
I punched him.
That sounded more believable.
And then?
And then housing decided I was the problem.
For several seconds neither of us spoke.
Finally, I said, you could have told me.
He laughed.
You never asked.
Fair point.
The silence returned, but it felt different now, less hostile, less sharp.
For the first time since we’d met, it felt like we were actually talking instead of fighting.
Then Kilian ruined it.
You still own too many highlighters.
I groaned.
There he is.
He laughed.
And somehow, despite myself, I laughed, too.
Things started changing after that.
Not all at once, slowly.
The arguments didn’t disappear, but they became less serious, more like a routine, something expected.
Every morning Kilian complained about my alarms.
Every night I complained about his music.
We argued over temperature, laundry, food, lighting, everything.
Yet somewhere along the way, I realized something strange.
I was actually looking forward to coming back to the room.
And that realization bothered me more than it should have.
Because Killian was still impossible.
Especially when girls were involved.
One Tuesday night I walked into the room and found him talking to a brunette sitting on his bed.
Again.
He looked up.
Hey Elio.
I looked at her.
Then at him.
Then back at her.
No.
He laughed.
What?
No.
What does that mean?
It means no.
The girl started laughing.
Killian pointed at me.
See?
This is what I deal with.
You’ve had three different dates here this week.
Four, the girl corrected him.
I stared.
Killian looked proud of himself.
I hated that.
Far more than I should have.
The realization hit me unexpectedly.
Jealousy.
I immediately pushed it away.
That was ridiculous.
Killian was my roommate.
Nothing more.
But the feeling lingered anyway.
And it got worse.
Because I started noticing how easily people were drawn to him.
Not just girls.
Everyone.
Professors remembered him.
Students liked him.
Strangers talked to him.
He walked through campus like the entire world belonged to him.
Meanwhile, I spent most of my time buried in textbooks.
One evening, Marvin found me studying alone in the library.
He sat across from me.
Question.
I sighed.
What?
Do you like him?
My brain completely stopped.
What?
Killian.
I stared at him.
Where did that come from?
Marvin shrugged.
You look at him weird.
I do not.
You absolutely do.
I looked back at my notes.
I’m studying.
You’re avoiding the question.
I’m ignoring the question.
Marvin grinned.
Which meant he thought he’d won.
Unfortunately, that conversation stayed in my head for the rest of the week.
Because once someone points something out, it’s impossible to stop seeing it.
And the more I paid attention, the harder it became to ignore what I was feeling.
Especially after what happened at the party.
The night everything started changing.
For real.
The party wasn’t even my idea.
If it had been up to me, I would have spent Friday night in the library finishing a statistics project.
Instead, Marvin practically dragged me out of my chair.
You’re coming.
No.
You’re coming.
I hate parties.
You hate happiness.
I like quiet.
Marvin grabbed my backpack.
We’re going.
Five minutes later, I found myself being pushed across campus toward an off-campus house packed with students.
Music blasted through the walls.
People crowded the front yard.
Someone was already dancing on a picnic table.
I immediately wanted to leave.
Then I saw Killian.
He was standing near the porch talking to a group of people.
The annoying thing was how naturally he fit there.
Like he’d been born for places like this.
The second he spotted us, he grinned.
Elio actually came?
I was kidnapped, I said.
Same thing.
Marvin laughed.
Killian handed me a soda.
I stared at it suspiciously.
It’s just soda.
I don’t trust you.
Fair.
For the next hour, I mostly stayed near the edge of everything.
Watching.
Listening.
Trying not to feel completely out of place.
Then something unexpected happened.
I actually started having fun.
Not because of the party.
Because of Killian.
Every time a conversation got awkward, he somehow fixed it.
Every time I drifted off by myself, he’d pull me back into the group.
At one point, he even convinced me to play a ridiculous party game.
I lost immediately.
He laughed so hard he nearly fell off a chair.
I hated how much I liked hearing that laugh.
Around midnight, the crowd started getting bigger.
People were drinking more.
Getting louder.
The atmosphere shifted.
That’s when I noticed something strange.
A guy kept staring at Killian.
Not casually.
Aggressively.
The guy looked older than most students.
Bigger, too.
I saw him bump into Killian once.
Then again.
The second time looked intentional.
Killian ignored him.
The third time wasn’t accidental.
The guy shoved him.
Hard.
Everything went quiet.
My stomach dropped.
Marvin noticed immediately.
So did Killian.
The guy smirked.
You got a problem?
For a second, I thought Killian might actually hit him.
The expression on his face was cold, dangerously cold.
Then Marvin stepped between them.
Not worth it.
The guy laughed.
Your babysitter?
Killian’s jaw tightened.
I saw his hands clench.
Every muscle in his body looked tense.
And suddenly, I understood.
This was the version of Killian that got kicked out of dorms, the version nobody talked about, the version always one bad moment away from disaster.
Walk away.
Marvin said quietly.
The guy didn’t.
He stepped closer.
Then everything happened at once.
People moved.
Someone shouted.
The guy shoved Killian again.
And before I could think, I stepped forward.
Enough.
The word came out louder than I intended.
Everyone looked at me, including Killian.
The guy laughed.
And who are you?
Someone telling you to leave.
I had no idea where that confidence came from.
Normally, I avoided conflict whenever possible.
But seeing someone push Killian around made something snap inside me.
The guy looked ready to argue, then apparently decided it wasn’t worth it.
He muttered something under his breath and walked away.
The tension slowly disappeared.
Conversations resumed.
Music returned.
But Killian kept staring at me.
Later, after the party died down, we ended up walking back to campus together.
Just me, Killian, Marvin.
For once, nobody was talking.
Finally, Marvin broke the silence.
Well, what?
Killian asked.
You just got rescued by Elio.
I did not.
You absolutely did.
Killian groaned.
Marvin looked delighted.
I rolled my eyes.
But secretly I was happy the moment had passed.
Until Marvin suddenly sped up and walked ahead.
Leaving me and Killian alone.
Deliberately.
The jerk knew exactly what he was doing.
For a minute we walked in silence.
Then Killian spoke.
Thanks.
I looked at him.
For what?
The party.
I shrugged.
It wasn’t a big deal.
It was.
His voice sounded different, sincere.
I glanced over.
His eyes met mine for a second.
And something shifted.
A feeling I couldn’t explain.
Neither of us looked away immediately.
The moment lasted only a few seconds.
But it felt longer, much longer.
Then Marvin shouted from ahead.
Hurry up lovers.
The moment shattered instantly.
Killian threw a bottle cap at him.
Marvin laughed and we kept walking.
But later that night lying awake in bed I couldn’t stop replaying that look.
The way Killian had looked at me.
The way my pulse had sped up.
The way everything suddenly felt more complicated than before.
Because for the first time I wasn’t sure this was just friendship anymore.
And deep down I had a feeling Killian wasn’t sure either.
After the party things got weird.
Not bad weird, just different.
The easiest way to explain it is that Killian stopped feeling like just my roommate.
And that was a problem.
Because once I noticed it, I couldn’t un-notice it.
I noticed when he came into the room, when he laughed, when he sat next to me in class, when he texted me.
Especially when he texted me.
At first, our messages were practical.
“Need anything from the dining hall?”
“Your package arrived.”
“Marvin stole my hoodie again.”
Normal roommate stuff.
Then somehow they became actual conversations.
Long conversations.
Sometimes we’d be sitting in the same room texting each other because neither of us felt like speaking out loud.
It was ridiculous.
And somehow fun.
One night around 1:00 in the morning, I looked up from my laptop.
Killian was lying on his bed staring at his phone.
A second later, mine buzzed.
Killian, “Why are you still awake?”
I looked at him.
He didn’t look up.
Me, “Studying.”
Killian, “Nerd.”
Me, “Idiot.”
A few seconds later, Killian, “Good night, Elio.”
I don’t know why that message stuck with me, but it did.
More than it should have.
The next few weeks flew by.
Midterms approached.
Campus got busier.
Everyone became stressed.
Including me.
Especially me.
One afternoon, I was sitting in the library surrounded by notes, when Killian suddenly appeared.
Without warning.
Without explanation.
He dropped a coffee beside me, then sat down.
I blinked.
“What are you doing?
Existing.
Why?
He looked offended.
You make it sound illegal.
I tried to focus on my notes.
Failed.
5 minutes later he was still sitting there doing absolutely nothing.
You don’t even have work.
Nope.
Then why are you here?
Killian shrugged.
You look stressed.
The answer caught me off guard.
I stared at him.
For once he wasn’t joking.
Wasn’t teasing.
He genuinely meant it.
Something warm settled in my chest.
A feeling that was becoming harder to ignore.
A few nights later everything got worse or better depending on how you looked at it.
Marvin had convinced us to go bowling.
It was supposed to be a group thing.
Then half the group canceled leaving only three of us.
Me, Killian, Marvin.
By the second game Marvin was destroying both of us.
Naturally, he wouldn’t stop bragging about it.
I was born gifted.
You were dropped as a child, Killian said many times.
Marvin pointed at me.
Elio understands greatness.
I absolutely do not.
Marvin grinned.
Then his phone rang.
He looked at the screen.
His expression changed.
Oh.
What?
Killian asked.
I forgot.
What?
I promised I’d meet someone.
Killian narrowed his eyes.
You planned this.
No.
You absolutely planned this.
Marvin stood up, already backing away.
Have fun.
Then he disappeared, leaving us alone again.
I was starting to suspect Marvin enjoyed this far too much.
For a while, neither of us said anything.
Then Killian grabbed another bowling ball.
You want to finish the game?
Sure.
The next hour felt strangely easy.
No pressure.
No awkwardness.
Just us.
Talking.
Laughing.
Existing.
And somewhere during that evening I realized something terrifying.
I liked being around him.
Not as a roommate.
Not even as a friend.
Something more.
The realization hit hard.
Because I had no idea what to do with it.
Killian dated girls.
Constantly.
As far as I knew, he’d never shown interest in a guy.
So I buried the feeling.
Pretended it wasn’t there.
Unfortunately, feelings don’t work that way.
Because a week later something happened that made hiding impossible.
It was raining.
Hard.
The kind of storm that turns sidewalks into rivers.
I was walking back from the science building when I saw Killian standing outside a coffee shop.
Alone.
He looked miserable.
His hair was soaked.
His jacket was drenched.
I walked over.
What happened?
My car or I laughed.
Seriously?
Don’t laugh.
I’m trying.
LOL.
That only made me laugh harder.
Kilian eventually started laughing, too.
Then lightning flashed overhead.
Rain poured even harder.
Neither of us moved.
The world around us blurred into gray.
For a moment, it felt like we were the only two people standing there.
Then Kilian looked at me.
Really looked at me.
And the smile slowly faded from his face.
So did mine.
Something changed.
The air felt different.
Heavy.
Charged.
My heart started beating faster.
And judging by the expression in his eyes, he felt it, too.
Neither of us spoke.
Neither of us looked away.
We just stood there.
Rain crashing around us.
Caught in a moment neither of us seemed willing to break.
Then Kilian’s phone rang.
The spell shattered instantly.
He looked away first, answering the call.
I stepped back, trying to slow my heartbeat.
Trying to convince myself I imagined everything.
But deep down, I knew I hadn’t.
Because for the first time, Kilian looked just as confused as I felt.
And that terrified me.
Because it meant whatever was happening between us was happening to both of us.
After the rainstorm, neither of us mentioned it.
Not once.
Which probably would have been easier if things had gone back to normal.
They didn’t.
If anything, they became worse.
Or better.
I still couldn’t decide.
Because now there was awareness.
The kind you can’t turn off.
Every accidental touch suddenly felt intentional.
Every glance lasted a little longer.
Every silence felt loaded with things neither of us knew how to say.
And somehow, Marvin noticed all of it.
Of course he did.
One afternoon, he walked into our room, looked at both of us, and immediately groaned.
Oh my god.
What?
Killian asked.
Marvin pointed between us.
This.
What?
Whatever this is.
I nearly dropped my pen.
Killian looked equally alarmed.
Marvin threw himself onto his bed dramatically.
I feel like I’m watching the slowest movie ever made.
Nobody knows what you’re talking about, I said.
You two are exhausting.
We’re literally doing homework.
Exactly.
That somehow made sense in Marvin’s brain.
Neither of us argued.
Mostly because we were afraid he might actually be right.
A few days later, midterms finally ended.
The entire campus seemed to breathe again.
Students flooded outside.
People celebrated.
Classes became less stressful.
For the first time in weeks, I felt relaxed.
Which was probably why I agreed Killian suggested getting food off campus.
Just the two of us.
At the time, it didn’t seem significant.
Halfway through dinner, I realized it absolutely was.
Because this didn’t feel like roommates grabbing food.
It felt like something else.
The conversation flowed too easily.
The silences felt comfortable.
And every time Killian smiled, I caught myself staring.
At one point, he noticed.
“What?”
I looked away immediately.
“Nothing.”
“You were staring.”
“I wasn’t.”
“You absolutely were.”
I groaned.
Killian laughed.
The sound hit me harder than it should have.
And for a brief second, neither of us looked away.
Again.
That was becoming a dangerous pattern.
The real problem started a week later.
A girl named Madison.
She showed up at our room on a Friday evening.
Tall, pretty, confident.
The second she walked in, I knew exactly why she was there.
Killian smiled when he saw her.
And something ugly twisted inside my chest.
Jealousy.
Again.
Only stronger this time.
Much stronger.
I hated it.
Madison sat on Killian’s bed.
They started talking, laughing, flirting.
I tried studying, failed completely.
Every laugh felt like sandpaper against my nerves.
Eventually, I slammed my textbook shut.
Both of them looked over.
“You okay?”
Killian asked.
“Fine.”
I wasn’t.
Not even close.
Madison stayed another hour, then another.
Finally, they left together.
The door closed.
The room fell silent.
And I sat there alone, feeling like an idiot.
Because the truth was impossible to ignore now.
I was in love with him.
Not a crush.
Not attraction.
Not confusion.
Love.
The realization hit like a truck.
And it terrified me.
Because loving Killian felt impossible.
He was my roommate.
My friend.
And as far as I knew, still straight.
Things got worse after that.
Because once you know something about yourself, pretending becomes harder.
I started avoiding him.
Spending more time at the library.
More time outside the room.
Anywhere except near him.
At first, he didn’t notice.
Then he absolutely did.
One night I returned after midnight.
The room was dark except for Killian’s desk lamp.
He was awake.
Waiting.
The second I walked in, he looked up.
“There you are.”
I froze.
“What?”
“We need to talk.”
That sentence never leads anywhere good.
I sat down slowly.
Killian leaned back in his chair.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
My stomach dropped.
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“No.”
“Elio.”
The way he said my name made lying impossible.
I looked away.
He sighed.
What happened?
I didn’t answer because there was no safe answer.
The truth would ruin everything.
Killian stared at me for several seconds, then quietly said, “Was it Madison?”
My head snapped up.
His expression was impossible to read.
For a moment, neither of us moved.
Then he looked away first, running a hand through his hair.
And suddenly he looked nervous, actually nervous.
I’d never seen that before.
“What does Madison have to do with anything?”
I asked carefully.
Killian laughed once, without humor.
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”
My pulse started pounding.
The room felt smaller, too small.
Neither of us knew what we were saying anymore, only that we were getting dangerously close to something neither of us understood.
Finally, Killian stood.
“I don’t know what’s happening lately.”
His voice was quieter now.
“Neither do I.”
That was the most honest thing I’d said all week.
Our eyes met.
The silence stretched, long, heavy.
And then the door burst open.
Marvin walked inside carrying a pizza.
He stopped immediately, looked at me, looked at Killian, then slowly back toward the hallway.
“Nope.”
“What?”
Killian asked.
“I interrupted something.”
“You didn’t.”
Marvin pointed at both of us.
“You absolutely need to figure your lives out.”
Then he disappeared again.
The door shut.
Silence returned.
Neither of us spoke.
But after that night, neither of us could keep pretending.
Because whatever was happening between us, it was finally reaching the point where one of us would have to say it out loud.
The next few days were unbearable.
Not because anything happened, because nothing happened.
Killian and I continued living in the same room, going to classes, eating together, watching movies with Marvin, doing everything we’d always done.
But now there was an invisible wall between us.
A question neither of us was willing to ask.
And the longer it remained unanswered, the harder it became to ignore.
It finally broke on a Tuesday night.
The campus had mostly emptied out.
Rain tapped softly against the window.
I was sitting at my desk pretending to study.
Killian was lying on his bed pretending to scroll through his phone.
Neither of us was fooling anyone.
Then he suddenly sat up.
Elliot.
Just hearing my name made my stomach tighten.
Yeah?
He looked nervous.
Actually nervous.
Which somehow made me even more nervous.
Can I ask you something?
I already knew this wasn’t going to end well.
Okay.
For several seconds he didn’t speak.
Then, do you ever think about us?
My heart stopped.
The room became completely silent.
I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly.
Killian looked away.
Then laughed awkwardly.
Forget it.
No.
His eyes returned to mine.
No?
No.
For the first time since I’d met him, Killian looked scared.
Not of me.
Of the answer.
I slowly stood.
Neither of us looked away.
“What do you mean?”
I asked.
His jaw tightened.
Then he finally said it.
“The way things have been lately.”
His voice was barely above a whisper.
“The way I feel when you’re around.”
My pulse was hammering.
“So, I’m not imagining it?”
The question slipped out before I could stop it.
Killian stared at me.
Then shook his head.
“No.”
The answer hit me harder than anything else.
Because suddenly every moment made sense.
The rainstorm.
The library.
The jealousy.
The stares.
All of it.
Neither of us had imagined any of it.
For a long moment, we simply stood there.
Looking at each other.
Years seemed to pass in those few seconds.
Then Killian laughed quietly.
“I’ve never been this confused in my life.”
I smiled despite myself.
“Same.”
That made him laugh again.
And somehow, the tension eased.
Just slightly.
Enough for us to breathe.
Enough to finally be honest.
We talked for hours.
Really talked.
About everything.
About the dorms.
About family.
About fears.
About all the things we’d never said.
Killian admitted he’d started noticing me months ago.
At first, he thought it was admiration.
Then friendship.
Then something he couldn’t explain.
I’d through almost the exact same process.
Neither of us had expected any of it.
Especially him.
But once he stopped fighting it, the truth became obvious.
Around 2:00 in the morning, we finally ran out of things to say.
The room fell quiet.
Neither of us moved.
Then Killian smiled.
A small, nervous smile.
The kind I’d never seen before.
Marvin is going to be unbearable.
I laughed.
He absolutely is.
He’ll never let us live this down.
Nope.
Killian groaned dramatically.
Then we both started laughing.
And somehow that felt perfect.
Not dramatic.
Not movie-like.
Just real.
The way everything between us had always been.
The next afternoon confirmed our fears.
Marvin took one look at us and immediately pointed.
Finally.
Killian buried his face in his hands.
I nearly choked on my drink.
Marvin looked like he’d won the lottery.
I knew it.
Please stop talking.
I’ve been waiting months.
Marvin.
You two are exhausting.
He looked genuinely emotional.
Which somehow made the situation even worse.
For the next hour, he refused to stop smiling.
And unfortunately, neither could we.
Because for the first time since we’d met, nothing felt uncertain anymore.
Only one thing remained.
The future.
And neither of us knew exactly where it would lead.
But for once, that didn’t scare me.
Because Killian would be there, too.
The funny thing about finally being honest is that nothing changed and everything changed.
Killian was still Killian.
Still left clothes on the floor.
Still played music too loudly.
Still stole my snacks when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.
And I was still me.
Still obsessed with schedules.
Still studying more than was probably healthy.
Still reminding him about deadlines he would absolutely forget otherwise.
From the outside, nothing looked different.
But now there was no wall between us.
No guessing.
No wondering.
No pretending.
And that made all the difference.
A few weeks later, final season arrived.
The entire campus transformed into a stress factory.
Libraries stayed packed.
Coffee disappeared faster than water.
Everyone looked exhausted, especially me.
I was sitting at my desk one night surrounded by notes when Killian walked into the room carrying food.
Without a word, he placed a container beside me.
I looked up.
What is this?
Dinner.
I can get my own dinner.
You haven’t moved in 4 hours.
I opened my mouth, then closed it.
Because he was right.
Again.
Unfortunately.
Killian sat on his bed watching me.
What?
Nothing.
You keep staring.
You used to hate when when did that.
I still do.
He smiled.
No, you don’t.
The annoying part was that he knew me well enough now to be right.
I hated that, too.
Finals ended.
Summer approached.
Students started leaving campus.
Packing boxes appeared in every hallway.
The reality hit us at almost the same time.
The semester was ending, which meant the housing assignments would end, too.
One evening, I found Killian sitting on his bed unusually quiet.
That alone was concerning.
What’s wrong?
He looked up.
What if they separate us?
The question caught me off guard.
I sat down.
Because, honestly, I’d been wondering the same thing.
Housing rarely kept roommates together by accident, especially when one of them had a reputation like Killian’s.
For the first time in months, uncertainty returned, and neither of us liked it.
The answer arrived 2 weeks later in the form of an email.
I was sitting at my desk when my phone buzzed.
Housing notification.
I opened it, read it once, then twice, then immediately stood up.
Killian.
What?
Check your email.
He frowned.
A few seconds later, his eyes widened.
Then he looked at me, then back at the screen, then back at me, and started laughing.
What?
We got approved.
I blinked.
What?
The apartment request.
My brain finally caught up.
Months earlier, mostly as a joke, we’d submitted a request to move into student apartments together the following year.
Neither of us thought it would actually happen.
Apparently, it had.
Killian threw a pillow across the room.
Not because he was angry, because he was excited.
Which somehow felt very Killian.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
Neither could he.
That evening, Marvin took us out to celebrate.
And by celebrate, I mean he spent 2 hours reminding everyone that he had been right from the beginning.
You owe me.
No.
I deserve credit.
You deserve therapy.
Marvin ignored that.
I literally watched this happen.
Please, stop.
I knew before either of you.
That part was probably true.
Unfortunately.
By the end of the night, all three of us were laughing so hard we could barely breathe.
And sitting there, watching Killian and Marvin argue over something completely ridiculous, I realized something.
For the first time in a long time, I felt settled.
Like I’d ended up exactly where I was supposed to be.
The new apartment wasn’t perfect.
The dishwasher barely worked.
The couch was terrible.
The internet crashed constantly.
But it was ours.
The first night after moving in, most of our boxes were still unpacked.
The living room was a mess.
Marvin had already stopped by twice despite not living there.
And Killian was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling.
I sat beside him.
The room was quiet, comfortable, easy.
After a while, he turned his head toward me.
You know What?
If they hadn’t forced me into your dorm room I laughed.
Don’t.
I’m serious.
You hated me.
I absolutely hated you.
I nodded.
Good.
You were unbelievably annoying.
You got kicked out of two dorms.
Details.
I rolled my eyes, then smiled.
Because somehow all those fights felt distant now.
Like they belonged to different people.
Killian looked around the apartment, then back at me, a soft smile appearing on his face.
Funny how things work out.
I looked around, too.
At the apartment, at the future waiting ahead of us, at the life neither of us had expected.
Then I looked back at him.
Yeah.
It really was.
Because the trouble guy nobody wanted to live with had ended up becoming the person I couldn’t imagine living without.
I wouldn’t have changed a single thing.
